This post was inspired by a thread on Rave Links where user “KandiRaver” said that the coolest relationships start at raves, and they love getting hit on at raves. This sparked debate about the legitimacy of rave relationships. Many users argued that hooking up at raves is something solely done, or enjoyed, by the teenage ravers, and when they grow up, they’ll stop wanting to get involved with a raver. They insisted that one day you’ll grow tired of waking up alone, not even remembering the name of the last person they had sex with. Others responded by saying that going to raves is about having fun, and if hooking up is part of that, what’s wrong with one night stands? Finally, there were those who said their is nothing wrong with dating a raver, and the rave scene is a great place to meet your next significant other.
If you’ve read my previous posts, or follow me on twitter, you’ll know I complain about men a lot. Since the rave scene is still fairly new to me, I’m still trying to figure out rave men, rave relationships, and rave hookups. I’ve made a lot of friends raving, but many stopped talking to me when they realized they weren’t getting into my pants, and I’ve met a lot of guys who seemed amazing and were all over me… until I found out about their girlfriend. Personally, I still believe a rave relationship is possible under certain circumstances. Most importantly, I would need to spend time getting to know them outside the rave scene. How can I know how they really are if every time I see them they’re rolling face? I can always tell a guy I meet at a rave isn’t serious about me if he never wants to hang out outside the rave scene, sometimes they wont even talk to me unless it’s the night of a rave. I know the guys that may want a relationship if they ask me to hang out or go on a date, and if they call me just to see what’s going on!
A few days ago I asked for rave relationship stories. Many were the same deal, about how they met at a rave, had everything in common, they ended up hanging out outside raves, and fell in love. Many were the stories of just hookups found at raves. A lot of the stories I received [a combination of posts in the “comments” section, e-mails, and responses to threads I put on PlurLife and RaveLinks] were too general and too similar to each other, so don’t be offended if your submission was not used.
So, here are some of the stories submitted to me. Please feel free to keep sending them in [I love reading them!], and I’ll post my favorites!
From user: http://glitterbuggg.tumblr.com/
I let the love of my life raving We met through mutual friends. I first saw him at a sonic, but I guess we really met at a party I had at my house later that week. We didn’;t really get to know each other until his birthday rave, called Zombie Nation, June 20 in Phoenix. We were both rolling and just running around like crazy. We became best friends that night, and I did give him a cute goodnight peck. Later, at the Big Event, we hung out all night, and by the middle of it, I got on one knee and asked him to be my rave-husband. So then we started texting, hanging out, being an annoying/adorable cute little couple, and we started officially dating a month later, although we were together for all that time. We’ve been together ever since.
I would a lot of our relationship was facilitated by drug use. It helped us to bond quickly, and then as the relationship progressed, it allowed us to really open up and share ourselves, and bond on a deeper level than is normally possible. And honestly, I don’t regret any of it. We are sober now, and help each other stay strong. We like to have excuses, like, oh we’re saving money, but I havent rolled in, well, at least over 8 months now haha. We have never cheated, either of us. The idea is kind of ridiculous to me now, like, I’ve found him, ive found the person I want to be with. We’re both extremely committed to the relationship, he is without a doubt he best boyfriend ive had, or even ever heard of, and I try to do the best I can for him. We’ve been dating for almost two years now and i still try to bring him breakfast and surprises, and he still try to buy me things I dont need. It just works. And it goes to show everyone out there that you can find an amazing significant other at a rave <33
My advice to everyone is to open, and committed in relationships. Really try to make the other person happy, and try to understand them. And dont be afraid of change. You can live in the past, or accept what the good is in the Now.
We’re going to be officially (is that possible?) rave married this summer, and eventually real married ❤
From User: V. Krispy on http://www.ravelinks.com/
Well I met my girlfriend at an Infected Mushroom/Steve Aoki show, it was like half-rave I guess. But I’ve never met anyone that was more perfect for me. She saw me spinning poi up front before there was a lot of people before a very large black guard without warning put his hand on my shoulder, scared the shit out of me and told me to stop and next time they would take them away. Jeez they’re just Flowlights.
But when we finally started dating a while later, I kept finding out she was more and more like me. To the point where it’s creepy. She’s new to raves and I’m pretty new myself even though I’m already under a label for my poi spinning xD She’s definitely not your average raver. She’s 16 and I’m 17 so you can tell we’re pretty new. And I’m also her first serious boyfriend so she’s not slutty like a lot of other ravers even admittedly are (sorry if it offends you). We manage to keep together extremely well even being an hour apart. I’d say just about the only difference between us I’ve found is a few tv shows she hasn’t seen, she doesn’t like spicy things, and doesn’t eat a lot.
I never stop hearing how cute/great/perfect match… we are and it never get’s old ^_^ I’ve never felt such a great connection with anyone. But a far as general rave relationships go, I know some good ones. I mean if it’ something that you both really love and have in common, that’s something right there. But I’m not and many other people may not be your average raver and wouldn’t be content with your average raver. I know I wouldn’t, I mean I like the rave girls, they’re fun people and make good friends, but I don’t have enough in common with most people even in general for a good relationship.
This story is a little more common place in the rave scene [from what I’ve witnessed], from: @MrJElevator
How we met: Met at the SF Love fest 3 or so years ago.
When we dated: I think we had our first date 2 or 3 weeks after Love Fest 09. We went on 2 failed dates so we kinda stopped hanging out until a rave came up or some party event.
How it Ended: Well it ended when I took a break from the raving scene and she was well into it. Besides that, just lack of motivation on both sides to talk haha. (She lives kinda far from me)
Sober?: I used to rave all the time sober, before I knew what e and molly really was. Now I rather be pretty drunk, giving my brain a rest because I used to do a lot of E. Oh and the girl I’m talking about in this first introduced me to it, and actually she was rolling when I first met her at lovefest.
Cheated: Well we weren’t really together, more on the “hook-up buddy” side.
When I first met her I was walking into civic center where lovefest was being held, and she was standing at the front looking kinda sad. So I go over all cool like and ask what’s wrong, minus the fact that she was looking pretty skankalicous and I am a dude. Dude see’s what he like, he’ll go over haha, anyways. She said she lost her friends and the huge crowd didn’t help with cellphone reception. At this point I’m thinking “oh well” since I lost my friends too and couldn’t call them. We both got in and had a pretty bomb time and midway dancing at the DnB stage she said “close your eyes”. I did and we started making out, but during the whole little kiss kiss session, she put a pill in my mouth. I’m thinking “aww sheit, what the fuck did I just swallow!?” but I chilled out once she told me it was thizz. Besides all that we still kinda talk, and we’re planning on going to some upcoming raves, hopefully EDC!